Druids, pagans protest naming of Christmas tree
Posted in Polity parody, General Skwib at 11:01 am by Mark A. Rayner
Ottawa (The Skwib) — A group of pagans have appeared in front of Rideau Hall to protest the naming of a tree.
“In ancient Celtic practice, the evergreen tree is a symbol of rebirth, and should not be connected with a Christian religious holiday,” Lugh Fripwhipple, spokesperson for the Gargantuan Organization Devoted to Lovers of Earth, Spirits and Society (GODLESS) told The Skwib.
“No it’s not!” said Hragnor Bootflak, High Priest of the Society of Odin Devotees (SODs). “The evergreen is a sacrifice tree — you should hang sheep testicles off it, not candy canes!”
“Wait, wait,” said Mamma Bulemia, Mistress of the Virgin Association of the Great, Inexpressible Nature Animists (VAGINA), “it’s about the love that Mother Nature has for all of us. We shouldn’t be putting them up at all!”
Randy Mylyk, a spokesperson for the Governor General (GG), said there had been a misunderstanding about the naming, but that did not please the protestors.
The trouble began with a CBC radio interview, when another Rideau Hall spokeswoman Lucie Brosseau had said: “At Rideau Hall, we will be putting up a holiday tree as we find it reflects the traditions of many cultures, and it is inclusive.”
“We just want to represent the Christian holiday,” another, as yet unnamed, GG spokesperson told The Skwib.
“I think all true worshipers, whether from GODLESS, SODs or VAGINA can agree that the decorating of an evergreen to celebrate a Christian holiday is contrary to the wishes of the spirit of the tree,” Fripwhipple said. “We don’t think the GG should have a tree at all.”
Other religious groups were asked to comment, but wisely refused.
A similar protest erupted in Boston after the mayor decided to name their festive flora a Christmas tree, but the pagans were quickly silenced in a series of “conversions” by Rev. Jerry Falwell’s crack “Grinch Gang”.
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Can a member from “Godless” get into “Vagina ” just by asking permission?
Mark A. Rayner said,
December 3, 2005 at 11:01 am
I think there may be an admissions committee. m.
http://www.markarayner.com/blog/archived/313/
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Man I love the holidays. Lately more and more disgruntled people are coming out to protest either the display of a Christmas tree or even the mere identification as such. Again, these are probably the same people that want kids to play sports and not keep score. It is a Christmas tree. I am not a religious person by any means, and to me it is called a Christmas tree. And it's true. If people want to play the 'it's so unfair. It's all about Christianity' card, then remind them that the symbol of the tree is taken from other beliefs and traditions. Christmas has become so commercialized anyway, so who cares?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
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