Toilet Paper

It seems almost irrelevant to continue griping about the qualms of the world as there is now one less viewer connected to what will ultimately be the quiet killer of human beings. But enough of this humdrum talk - I actually have positive babble to spew.

Currently I'm at a point in which a decision must be made. Similar to Mick Jones' question, "Should I Stay or Should I Go", I must decide as to what path I must take for a satisfactory life. Fortunately I appear to have a few options - although it is rather unfortunate as I am rather indecisive - so I'd imagine that regardless of the choice I make things will work out.

Not really a person to rely on chance but willing to allow my decision to be made by others, I've decide to rely on a previous purchase to make my decision. Last year I bought a value pack of toilet paper and I've decided to let that be the deciding factor. I will stay in this town/apartment until the toilet paper runs out. And that is when I'll move on to other adventures. As it stands, it looks as though I may be staying here for the duration of the summertime, perhaps working part-time and earning my TESL certificate. And then a'travellin' I will go.

So again, I must thank the trees that were cut down and turned into pulp so that people around the world could wipe their arses. But if there's any consolation, the trees may take comfort in the knowledge that their by-product helped me make a rather significant decision.

And now I will urge anyone to plant a tree. And for those that are deluded into believing that there has been no environmental impact from our actions, I'll rephrase for you. Go plant a tree so that you may continue to wipe your fat ass.

The Dollar Store

What a great retail establishment "The Dollar Store" is. And you really can get almost anything you could possibly need there. The other day I was perusing through the aisles when I found what I believe to be the most interesting item to be available thus far. The item? A pregnancy test. *shiver* Eww. Imagine the people that would use such an item and realize that they are breeding. I shudder to think.

Dead & Buried

I'm sitting at my computer and in the background I can hear the TV and the topic that is being discussed is Anna Nicole Smith. It could be perhaps my fault for not changing the channel so that an entertainment news show is not on my TV, but I can't believe what is going on. Regardless of Anna Nicole Smith's 'celebrity', it is disturbing that this fiasco has gone on this long. It was a couple of weeks before her body was buried, which in normal circumstances, well, would never happen. It's inhumane really. Hey, let's have a couple of cameras at the funeral. How novel! And now this fighting to try to exhume the bodies and whatever nonsense is going on. I don't have any religious beliefs that may be linked to this, but I now have an understanding in the cliched 'rest in peace'.
Maybe I'm just as guilty by discussing the coldness of this debacle.

The Stapler

Busily attaching all of my papers together I experienced an enormous sense of panic. Can it be? I'm out of staples? The panic dissipated soon after I found the box of staples in the desk drawer under a stack of unpaid bills. And that's when it occurred to me. The stapler is by far the best of all office supplies.

Sureshot? Nope - eww.

Whatever that nasty bug is that is dancing around with people decided to put me on the dance-card. How lucky. And to add to the already disorientation of the illness, I went into the washroom to discover the light was broken. Electricity be damned - my previously ingested meal wanted to escape the same way it entered. And so I complied in the darkness in the bathroom. After a few more visits I was fairly certain that light was not necessary for the upheaval of undigested food sorts so I thought nothing of it when I simply had to pee. There was nothing out of the ordinary as I stumbled back into my bedroom.
Then in the light of the following morning I saw it. Vomit all over the toilet seat - with the exception of some areas in which I must have inadvertently sat in it. Sadly I did not even feel it at the time. Perhaps it had already dried?
But thank goodness I don't have the trots, right?